You could be wondering if there is someone around you who is a narcissist. There are many people who have a few narcissistic traits. This includes self-importance and entitlement. But, having to deal with a real narcissist is a different challenge.
Living with a narcissist can be challenging and frustrating being around them. You may feel exhausted by their demands. You may feel judged both by their speech and behavior. So, how do you deal with narcissists in general?
As narcissism is a sickness, it would be better if you educate yourself about this. It will make you better understand their strengths and weaknesses. This is so you can learn to handle them better. Knowing who they are may make you accept the situation. You can also have realistic expectations.
See them for who they are
Narcissists are quite popular in the workplace. This is because when they want to, they can turn on their charm. They may make you turned on by their grand ideas and their promises.
But before you get turned on, watch them from afar how they treat others. You might catch them disrespecting others, lying, or manipulating others. When you do, believe that they can also do that to you.
For them, your needs and wants are not important. You may be met with resistance if you try to bring this issue with them.
This may upset the narcissist but it is better to set boundaries. After all, according to Perlin, it is not our business to control their emotions.
Break the Spell and Stop Focusing on Them
Remember that when you are with a narcissist, attention seems to be towards them. That is because they work hard to keep the limelight with them. You might even buy their tactic. This is by pushing aside your needs and prioritizing their needs before yours.
If you are expecting that their attention-seeking behavior will stop, it is not going to come. Nor will they focus on your needs over them. So if you will adjust yourself to suit their needs, your behavior will not be enough to please them.
If you must deal with a narcissist, do not let them infiltrate your sense of self-worth. Do not let them define your world. You also matter. That is why you must also be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, as well as goals. Carve out some “me time.” Remember that it is not your job to fix them so take care of yourself first.
Speak Up For Yourself.
When you need something, be clear and definite. “Make sure they understand your request,” according to Perlin.
There are times when ignoring them or walking away would be an appropriate response. You are picking your battles. A lot of your reaction depends on how the narcissist is close to you. If you will deal with your boss, parent, or spouse, it is different. When you are dealing with a coworker, sibling, or child, it is also different.
Tell them how their words and actions impact your life. Be consistent and specific about what is acceptable and what is not and bare it to them. Only, prepare yourself to the fact that they might not understand or even care.
The above are some of the ways on how to deal with narcissists. There are more techniques but these are the important ones. If it is possible to stay away from them so that they do not bother you, go ahead. After all, they do not change for the better. It is not a healthy relationship living with a narcissist.